What kind of resume?

We've discussed resumes several times...or, at least, I'm pretty sure we have. Maybe I've discussed them with you in my head, but it never made it to a post.

[spends a minute scrolling through past posts]

Well, whatever. We all (hopefully) know what a resume is: An overview of your work history detailing experience/skills that a potential employer will look at when you apply for a job. Some people put actual time and effort into their resume while I've seen others that are illegibly scribbled out in pink ink on a crumpled piece of notebook paper that looks like it got fished out of a kitchen trashcan after a meal of spaghetti and meatballs was thrown out.

Then again, I suppose hand writing a resume on spaghetti paper could be considered “actual” time and effort for some people, too, what with finding a pen that actually works and some form of paper somewhere...but I digress.

I spoke to a lady recently who had applied for a position (obviously) that required the supervisor to review the resume prior to scheduling an in-person interview. Standard stuff, but when I asked her for a resume, things got a bit odd:

Me: Do you have an updated resume that we can send over to the supervisor for consideration?

Resume (to henceforth be referred to as 'R'): What?

Me: An updated resume. The supervisor reviews resumes before determining with whom they would like to schedule an interview.

R: <after several moments of silence> What kind of resume?

Me: <an equal number of moments of silence> I'm not...Um...One that details your work history and experience.

R: Ok, but what kind?

Me: Preferably one that's typed and lists your past jobs, when you were there, and what you did. I don't think there's another 'kind.'

R: Oh. I thought I had to make one up that matched the job.

Me: <thinking 'matched the job? what?'> I'll just note that you do not have a resume. Let's move on...

Sometimes I'm a kind soul and will make a brief resume for someone who is able to give me his/her work history and walk me through what he/she did during past jobs, but I'm not interested in spending much time on someone who was going to make up a resume to 'match the job.'

[And, dear reader, don’t get me started on the difference between tailoring a resume to highlight certain skills versus making something up. She was going to make something up. No doubt. Let’s accept the reality and move on with the point.]

I’m not going to pretend she was the first or last person in the history of the job hunt to make something up, but it is probably not a good idea to announce that you'll be fabricating a resume as though you are the new writer for the latest comedy series on NBC.