Why am I working on Christmas?

The holidays are over.

I just wanted to point that out so the people who are desperately trying to hang on to that 'happy holiday feel' by leaving their Christmas tree, decorations, and lights up until after they have finished their taxes understand it is time to pack it up, already.

I'm not a fan of the holidays

Cue the gasps of shock and cries of, "Really? You? I never knew!". (Please, everyone, do try to table your sarcasm. I know you know.)

Do I enjoy getting together with family to gather around a table and try to put together a 2000 piece puzzle in too short a time? Yes. Even though this family-friendly activity ultimately ends up being too many late nights staring at tiny cardboard cutouts, wondering if this is an edge piece or a straight-edged not-edge piece, getting angry when the puzzle is finished save for the one piece that decided to run for its life, and it's right in the middle of the picture.

That was an exceptionally long tangent, but to restate: I do enjoy getting together with family. I also enjoy the food and the snacks consumption before the "need to lose that holiday weight” guilt hits the first of January.

There are a lot of things I don't enjoy about the holidays. Let us count the ways:

• I don’t enjoy shopping for presents. (Though I do enjoy that people enjoy what I ended up deciding on getting them last-minute. Or that we are all faking it enough to convince the other person. Either way works.)

• I don’t enjoy decorating for the holiday. (Though I do enjoy the decorations, once complete.)

• The absolute fanaticism too many people have about the holidays to make it perfect.

• I don't enjoy when shitty weather screws with your travel plans. Hypothetically, say you end up missing a flight, paying an extra $850/seat for 2 people to fly first class because those were the only seats left on the only plane that would get you back home the same day, then sitting on a plane on a runway for five straight hours because they're 'waiting for the wind to die down' before they can take off but don't want to deplane everyone, miss your connecting flight, and eventually get home fourteen hours after you were supposed to get home. Not that that has happened to me recently.

• I don't enjoy when people don't take into account what kind of place they work at and what, exactly, that means regarding the holiday. Specifically: Christmas Day.

This is a call from a contractor I answered right before logging off the phones and checking myself physically and mentally out for my personal holiday vacation:

Working Xmas Day (WXD): Why am I working on Christmas Day?

Me: What do you mean, 'why are you working?'

WXD: Just that. Why was I scheduled to work on Christmas Day?

Me: Well, did you request it off?

WXD: No. I shouldn't have to.

Me: Why not?

WXD: Because everything is closed on Christmas. Obviously.

(I could hear the eyeroll through the phone as this person attempted to educate me how the Christmas holiday affects workers.)

Me: Uh huh. Well, you work at a hospital.

WXD: So? Why am I working Christmas?

Me: Because you didn't ask for it off!

WXD: Why should I have to ask for it off?!

Me: It's a hospital, not a Walmart. Hospitals. Don't. Close. They are open 24/7, 365. And, frankly, 366 on leap years. If you don't ask for a day off, they are going to assume you're ok to work. They don't care if it's a holiday, a Sunday, or your birthday. Further, even if you do request it off, they have every right to deny your request if too many other people already requested it off before you. It’s. A. Hospital.

WXD: Well, I'll just not show up, then.

Me: If that's what you decide to do, then that's what you decide to do. But I can't guarantee you'll have a job once the holidays are over.

Upon hanging up, I spent a minute reflecting whether I was too harsh and decided I was not. Only an idiot would get mad that they don't automatically get a holiday off without requesting it when they work at one of the few places that never shuts down.

I then decided it would be too harsh to spend five minutes daydreaming about this guy deciding to skip work on Christmas and having to go to a hospital for an emergent-but-ultimately-minor issue. That daydream I did not have most certainly did not extend to him watching the workers care for him on Christmas with empathy and good cheer and have a change of heart wherein he decided to dedicate his life to good works and charity toward others, particularly on federal holidays.

So, with that: Merry Christmas, dumbass. My inner grinch hopes you got fired.