Time Travelers

Time Travelers

Accuracy on a resume is important.

I mean, I get it. NO ONE likes updating his/her resume. For most of us, updating a resume means one of:

1. We just got fired/laid off/made redundant/let go/whatever;

2. We just rage quit; or

3. We are thoroughly depressed/angry/bored about/at/with our current position.

By definition, one probably isn’t in a great frame of mind to then try to figure out whether it was August or September you last changed positions.

(A very sarcastic kudos to the few folks out there that either update your resume on a semi-regular basis or are so fantastically awesome at your job that other people call you up routinely to ask for it because they want to throw a new job in your lap at higher pay. May you be reborn as an armadillo.)

No matter what the case, though, I cannot repeat enough that you should review your resume several times for accurate information. Even the smartest people have been known to experience typos, and the rest of us, well, have more.

But, I can appreciate we are all human. Having reviewed thousands of resumes in my career, there are many things I will overlook. Usually relating to spelling errors: costumer service, wearhouse, wharehouse, etc.

Other things are more difficult to skip over. One such thing that gets my goat every time is future end dates.

(I heard that loud 'huh?' you just thought, but don't worry. I will explain.)

Start and end dates on a resume show, obviously, how long someone was at a specific job. Dates then map to longevity, job-hopping, large gaps, and more, all painting a picture of a person as an employee. Do they stick with a job long enough to actually get trained in and contribute to the workforce, or do they bail after a couple of months? Are they unemployed longer than they were employed?

For those (vanishingly few) folks out there who are objectively good employees with trash work history, yes, yes, I understand it doesn't paint the full picture of someone as an employee. But it is the very first thing we see of an applicant. Judgements are formed, first impressions made, and as everyone should know: first impressions are very hard to overcome.

Better darn well hope you just handed someone a good first impression of you, then.

(And…queue up the folks who are smart enough to understand this and then lie like a sleeping dog all over their resumes to make themselves appear better candidates than they are. Rest assured we will ferret you out.)

I digress. Let's get back to the point of this post.

It's not often that we get dates of employment (DOEs) that occur in the future, but when it does, it both gives me a laugh and eye-roll at the same time. I can understand if you've put in your notice and are expecting to end your current position next month or if you had the ultimate brain fart and think it's further in the future than it is (eg. end of October as opposed to early September). But occasionally I'll see something that gives me 'Back to the Future' vibes.

Case in point:

Candidate X started at Rainbow Foods Jan2023 and ended Dec2058. Cue rapid blinking, a spin in my desk chair, pointing out the time traveling resume to my nearest coworker, and receiving the expected 'dumbasses' in response before turning back to the futuristic work history.

Perhaps expected, but folks that can’t be bothered to skim for obvious typos are usually resumes that have abysmally work history and are not someone I would be open to calling anyway. But, sometimes I get a kick out of giving the person a call in the hopes that Marty McFly or Doc Brown picks up to tell me about flying skateboards and microwavable dehydrated pizzas.

Alas, I have neither received any time traveler stories nor hired anyone with a future end date on their work history. At least, not yet.