Ghosting

When I was in elementary school, I had to walk to school. Two miles. No bus. And it was uphill both ways. Usually in the snow.

[crickets chirp]

Ok, fine. I rode the bus.

But there usually was snow.

Because I’m from the Midwest.

While I’m dreaming, though, let me tell you about one I had the other day. It involved a universe where people were responsible and held themselves to a high standard, including showing up for scheduled appointments. Or, reaching out prior to a scheduled appointment to reschedule.

Then I woke up.

If you don't know what ghosting is, well, I hope you are enjoying the heck out of your retirement. For the rest of us who need to wake up and go to work, though, understand that Ghosting happens when a person just…disappears. Falls off the face of the earth, for all intents and purposes. Implicit in the use of the term “ghosting” is a certain understanding that he/she is purposefully avoiding your attempts to reach him/her by whatever avenue you are using. It's not necessarily job-related – one can ghost a date, for example – but the term has become commonly associated with the workforce in recent years.

Recruiters typically use “ghosting” to refer to those who never show up for an interview and are never heard from again. Sometimes our charges do that on-the-job and bail, never to be seen or heard from again, but we dub that “job abandonment” instead of ghosting. Don't ask me why, we just do.

There are many reasons why people 'ghost' on an interview. He found a better opportunity elsewhere. She moved out of the area. He was 'job hunting' in order to continue receiving unemployment benefits but wasn’t actually serious about gainful employment. She died (no joke. Long story).

Whatever the case, the end result is the same: he/she didn't show, and we don't hear from him/her again.

The funny thing is, I get a lot of past applicants who are re-applying for one reason or another. Out of those past applicants, a non-trivial number have red files (which amounts to: consider us uninterested in working with you for future employment). To be fair, some red files will be reconsidered if significant time has passed. Apparently our office policies implicitly assume there is potential for People To Change. However, others are permanently red because the interactions we had with that candidate/employee were so severe that we will never reconsider hiring them in the future. Ever.

Rightly or wrongly, I like to consider myself a decent, fair person who tries her best to hold people to the same standard and be objective. However, I am human (if only you knew how fantastically awesome I am), and there are times when my personal morals and emotions may sway me one way or another when dealing with certain kinds of people. Sorry. Nature of the beast that is humanity

[Sidebar: if you are one to claim you are completely objective in everything you do, you're a liar. Just saying.]

Back to ghosting. I hate when someone ghosts. I find it rude. Pathetic. Childish. If you don't want to do something, notify whomever needs notifying and own it. For the Gen Z-ers out there, be advised: it’s called “Adulting”. When we have someone who re-applies for a job and I see that they've ghosted us on an interview in the past, I will happily tell that person that we are not interested in reconsidering him/her when they call in to follow up on the application they submitted.

Sometimes I get an, "Ok," and the person hangs up.

Sometimes people like to argue and tell me 'that's not fair.'

When that happens, my rote response is to tell them that a no-show for an interview with no follow-up is unprofessional, and we are no longer interested in considering them for employment.

Sometimes they concede, and the conversation ends there.

Sometimes they like to argue and give whatever excuse(s) they can think of to try and make a point.

Oh, your phone was disconnected? There was nobody else in your life that could lend you a phone so you could call to tell us you couldn't make it? You didn't know our phone number? Funny. We're on Google. You could've found it online. You could've also emailed us by replying to the confirmation email we sent about their interview. Or, again, Googling us.

Sigh.

Did I mention that I tend to take ghosting personally?

Don't ghost. It's [insert a host of adjectives I'm not going to bother writing out for you]. Be professional and show up. Or, if you're not interested/no longer available, be an adult and let someone know you will not be making it. One would think it's not that hard, but people today are, well, let's just not go there right now.