Curse words

This particular story lies near and dear to my heart.

Cue the laugh track, I know, what with me being renowned for having a heart and all.

Maybe I should rephrase it as saying this particular story had quite an impact seeing as how I can recall this conversation quite clearly despite it having happened several years ago.

A bit of backstory: This contractor got fired for something I cannot recall and had decided to call us up and plead her case, if you will. Right before the bulk of the office went to lunch, a coworker who received the initial call sent out an email stating that she spoke to so-and-so but ended up terminating the call for inappropriate language. Given her character profile, the expectation was that the candidate was going to call back. Possibly repeatedly.

(Yes, we can accurately peg who's going to be a problem child very early on in the application and interview processes. It's an artform.)

Everyone goes to lunch leaving me allllll byyyyy myselfffff (Celine Dion, anyone? No? Well, whatever). Having read the email, I look up the file to read the initial conversation, and none too soon, the phone rings.

Let's get into this:

Me: (after introductions) How can I help you?

Upset & Cursing (U&C): (she's fiery right off the bat) I'm trying to tell y'all my problems but y'all be hanging up in my f****** face.

Me: (nice and calm) Well, we don't wish to talk to you because you keep dropping curse words.

U&C: I'm not dropping curse words. Y'all just keep hanging up in my f****** face.

Me: Well, that's the second curse word you've dropped, and we haven't even been talking for very long.

U&C: I'm not f****** swearing!

Me: You just did it again.

U&C: Y'all just need to quit hanging up in my f****** face 'cuz all I wanna do is tell you my f****** problems, but y'all won't f****** listen.

Me: Unfortunately for you and fortunately for me, I don't need to sit on this call and listen to you cuss me out (lady starts yelling), so I will be ending this call at this time.

<I hang up. Phone rings again a few seconds later>

Me: How can I help you. U&C: You can't keep hanging up in my f****** ---

<I hang up before she can finish. Call immediately comes in>

U&C: Why you keep f****** doin' that? You can't do that!

Me: Actually, I have every right to hang up on you if you're not going to calm down and discuss whatever is bothering you like a rational adult. Cussing someone out is going to get you no---

U&C: I ain't f****** cuss ---

<I hang up. She calls back>

U&C: You did it again! You can't do that!

Me: Yes, I can. I don't need to put up with your language. And that is the first time you didn't swear during this whole spiel, so if you're calm enough, now, to discuss whatever it is without cursing, we can have a real conversation.

I am not against cursing by any means. Ask anyone who knows me. I’m not proud of it, but I use curse words on a more-than-regular basis, much to the consternation of my mother and other certain family members. I am, however, an advocate of not dropping a metric ton of swear words on the phone with someone who is not a friend or family member. I wouldn’t want to listen to it, so I don’t expect others to do so, either.

You know: Golden rule and all that sh**.