You don't know what I'm capable of

I subscribe to the idea that there are not that many different personality types in life. Depending on the day, I may tell you there are as few as seven or as many as twenty-one. So: a variable number, but certainly a finite number. Regardless, when you routinely encounter twenty-one new people in a single day, it isn’t hard to zip through every personality type multiple times per week. Yet, despite my opinion that we are all cut from a limited number of bolts of cloth, I continue to be amazed at how many variations that handful of personality types can produce. It’s like…making a thousand different outfits from the same bolt of cloth. I’m probably over-exercising this metaphor, but you get my point. There are a lot of variations of humans out there.

I recently listened with amusement to a one-sided conversation from the next desk over. The mental image of the “Tough Guy” on the other end of the phone was one straight out of a South Boston gangster movie.

The candidate, we'll call him Tough Guy, or TG for short, had applied for a job sponsored by a client located in the middle of nowhere, with no public transportation. No doubt due to the crummy locale, the client had a very hard time with employee turnover, and the quality of the average employee willing to work in the middle of nowhere was….less than optimal.

Example: For a brief moment, the client entertained a requirement that every employee had to pass a background check. Then immediately put a halt to that requirement because every potential candidate was failing, mostly due to past assault and drug charges with a lot of DUIs thrown in. You get my drift.

Anyway! Back to the Tough Guy (TG) candidate with whom my coworker dealt. TG applied for a job at this client, but he had worked there previously, which meant we sent his name over to the HR rep to see if he was interested in having the person back.

[Sidebar: it is a not-uncommon scenario to see a rotating cast of characters pass through an employer that doesn't run background checks. Turns out options are limited when you are sporting a criminal record measured in reams of paper.]

It came back that TG was one of those memorable characters the client was not interested in having return.

Why? you ask.

Well, let’s find out in the same way I did:

Coworker: Sorry, but XX informed us that they are not interested in having you return.

TG: Why?

Coworker: Well, it could be because you threw a punch at one of your coworkers in the parking lot, but I'm not entirely sure. Whatever the case, they are not interested in having you back.

TG: Well, it's not like you can stop me. I've been to prison! You don't know what I'm capable of.

Coworker: You're right, I don't, but I'm not too worried, and that's probably not something you should be proud of. Anyway, since XX company isn't interested in having you return, we unfortunately don't have anything else to offer you.

Coworker hangs up the phone, and I lean over the partition to get the deets and have a good laugh at TG's expense.

Oh, pro tip for all you wannabe thugs out there: Don't smugly announce that so-n-so doesn't know what you are capable of. The mystique is in the surprise. Just sayin.