The lab results show...

I fielded a call from a lady who had called off the day prior because she wasn't feeling well. She let me know she had gone to the doctor yesterday and confidently stated "the lab results show a broken rib."

It was early. I was tired. Confusion ensued.

Blink. Blink.

"Um, what?"

"My lab results show a broken rib. They took some blood and ran some tests and stuff."

All right, let’s review a few details about my personal history:

1.)    My mother was a nurse.

2.)    I have had broken ribs.

I can confidently tell you that “lab results” are not what show broken bones. That, my friends, would be an X-ray. It's an actual picture of your bones and would therefore show whatever break may or may not be there. Lab results are, in fact, for things like blood work and biopsies and the like. But, no licensed medical professional is going to rush bloodwork for a suspected case of broken ribs.

(Also, for those of you who are, I am not a licensed medical provider. Full disclosure and all that. Feel free to leave a comment on the late breaking news that a doctor is going to diagnose a case of broken ribs with bloodwork.)

Thankfully, my brain fog was not so intense that I couldn’t handle the transfer to HR to permit the ailing lady to discuss her “lab results” even as my brain struggled not to burst into laughter while still on the phone with her.