Take a hint

It’s hard to break up with someone.

I mean that literally. How do you do the deed? In person after a great night to let ‘em down gently? In person after a fight? Do you PICK a fight with someone to have an excuse to break up? Do you do the its-not-you-its-me schtick?

If you are a real a**h***, do you text? Ghost ‘em?

You see what I mean, right? If you don’t do it correctly, you can really find yourself in a lot of trouble. In fact, if you are too gentle with so-and-so’s feelings, you could even end up in the awkward space where they just didn’t get it.

Imagine: You think you broke up, but he/she doesn’t and keeps calling and calling and calling.

<shudder>

In so many ways, life in the recruitment industry tends to imitate, well, life. There are times when you may want to reject someone but want to do it nicely. Maybe you don't want to hurt his/her  feelings. Perhaps it's a rejection at this time but the situation may realistically change in the future, so you do it softly so as not to scare them off. Maybe it’s Friday afternoon, and you just don’t want to end the week on a downer.

(I hear you laughing at my attempts to explain, and I admit to struggling to find acceptable examples. Use your imagination and come up with a plausible explanation as to why—every so often—I don’t want to be a total jerk.)

However, there are times in life when the answer is just 'no.' A straight and simple, rip-the-bandaid-off NO. It's a word we, as humans, hear and learn as children. Granted, we may not fully comprehend what 'no' means at that early of an age, but I would like to think that people understand what 'no' means by the time they're an adult.

(I was going to say four, but let's not kid ourselves here.)

Periodically we get applicants/contractors who will forever be DNU'd in our system for one reason or another. Why these people are DNU’d for all eternity will be left as the endless source of entertainment for other posts, so for now, let’s just understand that they exist. And, typically, these kinds of people are the ones that aren't let down lightly or nicely. It's a straight NO.

The strange part is that I can think of several people we will never work with again for whatever reason, but they continue to call month after month looking for work. Without fail. Even though every time they call, we tell them NO with a vigor that should leave nothing to doubt. Usually with an emphatic reinforcement of the fact that he/she will not be eligible in our system, ever.

Let’s use one particular lady as an example. We tried to get her started at 2 separate clients several times, trying each time to give the candidate the benefit of the doubt. This lady delayed her start at both clients each time, always with a different reason: wanting to change the schedule, change the location, whatever. In the end, I DNU'd the file based on the overwhelming amount of flakiness the candidate displayed.

Since then, she will call once a month. Everyone in the office is familiar with her and has experience giving her a straight: "We will not be working with you." I would like to tell her to take a hint, but there's no pretense of a subtle ‘hint’ anywhere in the conversation.

No means no. Go take your crescent roll-flakiness elsewhere.