Go with your gut

When you've been in my line of work for a while, you tend to see the same people drift across your desk on a semi-regular cadence. Humans being what they are, the reason one tends to remember any one resume generally isn’t due to being impressed at the polished nature of the formatting and an impressive work history, if you get my drift.

One such resume from several years ago stuck out to me as a bit...off. I remember being unsure whether the application was a joke, maybe with the candidate submitting the application on a dare after a wild Friday night. My gut feeling was a 'you reeeeeeally don't want to take a gamble with even calling the person.'

So, I DNU'd the file.

But after coming across the same resume not once but twice in a couple of years, I think the person might actually be attempting to get a job and is “just being real” about shit.

Still, the gut feeling remains: Do not engage.

I recently re-DNU'd the file but thought I'd just drop that resume here for your perusal:

Campmaster

Self-Employed

Apr 2018 - Present

Screw around in the bush and tame the wildlife

Weapons Specialist

Metro Pawn and Gun

Dec 2019 - Present

Urban Growler Brewing Company

Mar 2022 - Present

Driver Band Equipment

Naked Zoo

Haul sound and stage equipment for touring bands

across united stataes

Chief security officer

capital liqours

Apr 2018 - Present

Make sure morons don't be stealing shit.

Wildlife biologist

Lake Somewhere Up North

Dec 2017 - Present

Fuck around and do what I want to.

Unsure. What do you think?

I think sometimes you just gotta go with your gut on certain things.